For a CJ (Carb Junkie) like me, eating primarily protein and healthy fat is difficult with no bread or noodles or dessert. Yeah, I love steak and chicken (I'm a landlubber - don't eat water animals), but nothing beats a donut, except maybe a cupcake. I've struggled for many, many months now on making that lasting change. I mean, I couldn't even get through one day without defeating myself. I'd start to feel like I was going to be deprived, not even like I was being deprived yet!, and I'd gorge on carbs. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
But if I'm honest, I've always been like that - hence the reason I'm pushing 380 at 28. I finally made the primal leap and I'm doing it - period. Below are my top five excuses for sitting on the side-lines and my top five reasons for finally taking the plunge.
Excuses
1. I'm too fat. I'm too fat and I've been too fat for too long to make a successful change. And what's the flippin' point if I can't make it last forever? I should probably look into surgery or something because I would like to find love and have adventures and all that but surgery is probably the only realistic way for me. I've tried everything else, right, so that's all I've got left.
2. I don't have the time. I drive an hour and a half or more for work each day. I don't sleep well, so I get up late and rush in the morning. I get home and I'm tired from my day and need some time to relax. By the time all that's done, my day's pretty much used up and it's time to go to bed again.
3. I can't afford it. Organic? All natural? Grass-fed? Humanely raised/slaughtered? Specialty stores? No Ramen? New kitchen contraptions? All this crap just isn't in my budget. I wouldn't even know where to find it if I could afford it. In the long run, it's probably not any better for me than the regular stuff!
4. I don't have the strength. I've tried everything out there - what's going to make this one any different? A little less of this, a little more of that, it's just like what I did before. I couldn't do those so why would I be able to do this? I'm pretty much doomed and hopeless.
5. I don't want to put in the effort. In the end, it all boiled down to this one excuse for me. I'm not too fat, too old, or too uncoordinated to do it. I'm not too busy to prepare food, work in some exercise, or plan my meals. I spend way too much money on shitty food now anyway - even if I don't spend less, which I know I will, I'll be getting better quality and better tasting food. And I know that I'm strong enough to be able to do whatever I want and need to do. In the end, it just takes some honestly, effort, knowledge, determination, and a little faith.
Reasons
1. I want to LIVE! Capital freaking letters people! There's so much I want to get out of this life and catching the new episode of "Bones" (while great) is not on that list. I want to go sky diving, I want to climb a real mountain, I want to swim with dolphins, I want to see the pyramids, I want to complete an Ironman, I want to camp on the beach, I want to go cliff diving, I want to travel Europe, I want to learn to kick box. I want simple things too: home, hearth, happiness, love, laughter.
I suppose I feel like I've missed out on these things because I was fat. I didn't take a chance because I was afraid of being hurt. What's a little bit of pain compared to a lifetime of never knowing? In the end, I always think of something my mother told me as a child: you'll regret more of the things you don't do than those you do. Those lost chances still haunt me - I remember every single one - and I'd like to make sure there are no more lost chances.
2. I want to be healthier. I want to not worry about whether I'll develop diabetes or hypertension or high cholesterol or mobility issues or the other myriad of diseases that come with obesity. Without health, you have nothing.
3. I want to be happier. There are the aesthetic things that will make me feel happier - when all the goodies are tone and firm, when the 'ugh' spots have diminished, when I feel comfortable wearing a dress and heels, when Sunday can be 'nekkid' day in the house :), etc. But being physically stronger, having more endurance and stamina, generally feeling better... those things will make me really happy.
4. I want to be successful. I want this to actually work. I want to be successful in all aspects of my life: at work, physically, emotionally, and in relationships. I want to conquer all those things that bring me down and then help others do the same. Obesity is as much of a physical disorder as it is a mental one - you constantly berate and belittle yourself - the Good Lord help you if you don't have the balls (or ovaries) to not let the world do it to you too. Overcoming it is not as simple as dropping the pounds and I want to get past that myself - out of that Fat State of Mind - and then help others do it.
5. I want to surprise myself. I'm capable of so much more than I even know. I can't wait to figure out what that is and then share it with people. I watch The Biggest Loser and, while it's not primal and probably not all that healthy, I can identify with all the contestants on the show. This past season, in one of the early interviews, one of the female contestants is with her partner, who is her mother, and she says to her mother, "What if I can't do it?" And her mother says "But what if you can?" What if I can... I won't know unless I take the chance.. no more lost chances.
Confession 3: I'm a chicken at heart, but I want so many things and I know they don't come unless you have courage. You've got to be honest, confident, and ballsy... and I think I've got what it takes.
Have a grokkin' day folks.
No comments:
Post a Comment