Looking back, it was, like all the years before, a year of good intentions and poor follow-through. It was a year of getting on and falling off the primal horse... not much more I can say about that. I've always had a problem with actually doing what I said I wanted to do... especially if there's hard work or unpleasantness involved. But that's that and it can't be undone - it's all about learning the lesson and not repeating it. There were highs during the year too, but, I'm a 'glass half empty' kind of girl, so I don't really think on the good things that often... I just harp on the bad.
This is a time to look forward to what the next year and the next decade are going to hold. I'm propping myself back up and I'm climbing on the horse again as of tomorrow. I've spent the past couple of weeks eating out of my SAD fridge... eating or discarding all the non-primal things. Tomorrow, I'll take my first "before" and "after" pictures... of the fridge and pantry. I'll be going to the grocery store tomorrow to stock the fridge, freezer, and pantry with lots of good, primal stuff.
At the core, here are my goals for 2011, primal and otherwise:
- Work towards not sweating the small stuff. I always say I'm a type A+ personality working to be an AB. I need to chillax, learn to roll with the punches better, and remember that there is a such thing as controlled chaos. I think life will be pretty boring over the next 40 years if I try to stamp out any bit of the unexpected and, boy am I on that path right now. Time for a detour.
- Commit to the primal/paleo lifestyle and really give myself a chance. I've done the yo-yo, falling off the horse, falling off the wagon thing for way to long now. I want to give primal/paleo an honest-to-goodness chance and, by extension, hopefully give myself a chance.
- Go on a real vacation that involves going to some place I've never been. It's just me, I've never been a good saver, and it's not quite so much fun to do things alone, so I never go on a real vacation. I can't help but think it would be a waste of money if I did it, etc, so I just stay home. I've always felt that my A+ is smothering some adventuress within me and, this year, I want to let her out.
- Complete a sprint triathlon with my friends. I've wanted to to this for a long time now... years and years. I've always felt like completing a triathlon would sooth some internal beast that's raging to get out. This is the year to 'release the Kraken!'
- Be open to new people, experiences, and life in general. I tend to isolate and, with my biological clock ticking with the urgency of the timer on a stick of dynamite, I need to not isolate if I plan to do anything to quell the tick, tick, ticking. I think there's magic in the air for me this year and, even if there isn't, who says I can't make a little for myself.
- Be more positive. Yeah, I admit it - I'm a Debbie Downer. I've always been a pessimist and I do think I makes me a more unhappy person and makes situations more difficult than they have to be. I'm also a worrier, which I imagine goes hand-in-hand with being a pessimist, and that leads to more negative thinking and heavy mental strain...it's cyclical. Time to get off the merry-go-round.
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